Dating

Blowjob vs. Cunnilingus: Do we really love oral sex?

oral sexOral sex would be one of the essentials preliminaries according to Kamasutra. But not all of them do not engage with the same joy at the most intimate kiss.

First there are the words “fellatio” and “cunnilingus”. If the first has a felted sound and fluffy, the second is downright awful, angular, full of asperities and closed vowels. Cunnilingus. It is pronounced mouth-to-mouth, which is still a shame for an exquisite erotic gesture, for this kiss that unites lips and sex.

80% of adults regularly practice oral sex

If we look at the statistics that equate the sexual behavior, we discover that about 20% of adults do not practice oral sex. Only 3% do it again after fifteen years of marriage, that one devotes all the more to the joys of oral sexuality that one is graduated.

But beyond the numbers, how do men and women live this intimate erotic practice? If they deliver with inspiration, conformism or disgust?

Blowjob, between domination and regressive sloth

Side man, it is clear: the taste for the jig is absolutely unanimous. In The New Report Hite, published in 2000 (ed I Lu), 95% say they prefer to have a pipe cut than anything else.

Since the release in 1972 of the cult movie “Deep Throat”, fellatio has become a key figure in sexual vocabulary. The heroine, who unexpectedly discovers that her clitoris is placed in the back of her throat, swallowing greedily members impressive dimensions. From there, voracious penis engulfment becomes a distressing porn shot. All X movies have several scenes where actresses on the verge of nausea siphon the sex of their partners before taking in full face the product of their enjoyment.

The blowjob is staged not voluptuously, but in a context of domination. But if we believe the men who spoke to us, porn movies are all wrong. According to Guillaume, “95% of girls suck badly, precisely because instead of treating with a melting softness the sex of their partner, they imitate with a vigorous hard work the fierce appetite of porn actresses”.

In his book “Written on the mouth” (Ed Odile Jacob), Dr. Claude Olievenstein explains that “the fellatio makes the orgasmic discharge close to feeding, the discovery of life, the continuity of the infant with the man , a continuity inside the forbidden”. Rather than furious pumping, men actually dream of a regressive laziness.

In “The Elementary Particles” (Ed I Lu), Michel Houellebecq says to one of his heroines: “Men have trouble bending, but when you take them in the mouth, they become children again.”

Cunnilingus, proof of love and self-confidence

cunilingus

On the woman side, not everyone has the ease of a Madonna who sings in “Express Yourself“: “I want you to go down there, where it’s hot, where you can not steal.” Also in the report Hite, we read how some women steal their sex on the lips of their lover, how they are afraid of being “dirty, disgusting”. For those who maintain a harmonious relationship with their own body, oral sex has infinitely more meaning than penetration.

The faculty of man to enjoy the sex of his companion is the absolute sign of his love of women, of his sexual health. Whoever refuses to do so may be left because “he has a problem with women”. In some macho cultures, especially in black American gangsta rap circles, cunnilingus is considered infamy, a loss of virility. Whoever indulges in it is a “sucker”, a poor guy. Oral sexuality upsets the relations of domination.

More than penetration, it allows to recognize and feel intimately the body of the other. Without it, writes Guido Ceronetti in “The Silence of the Body” (Ed.: Albin Michel), “it is not a complete knowledge of femininity, it is like a teaching whispered in a humid cave.”

Oral sex: what the expert says

Dr. Jacques Waynberg has just participated in the development of the Dictionary of Pornography.

It is in oral sexuality that the quality of erotic function is expressed. A harmonious oral sexuality supposes to have crossed the barriers of the modesty, of a disgust of oneself and the other. It is the place of the intimate. There, an emotional and emotional charge is much more important than during penetration. It is through orality that one accepts one’s own sex and that of the other. If men and women were better sucked, there would be no complex appearance and conformity of the genitals. The genital surgery market would not take that dimension, which I find catastrophic.”